


High

by thetravelersoul



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop, SHINee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 14:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16955637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetravelersoul/pseuds/thetravelersoul
Summary: Everything about Taemin seemed to be shed under a brand new light. Something had just changed for Jongin and he had a hard time copping with it. Let alone understand it. He had never gathered up the guts to talk to Taemin about this. Convinced that if he acted like it did not exist, the uneasiness would soon vanish.





	High

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I've published this work forever ago on Tumblr (@taekai4ever) but never went beyond the first chapter. I've decided to give it another shot by publishing the story here. Based on your feedback, I will try to post more. First fic I've ever written, be nice with me please or not, it's up to you.

• Chapter I : Nameless Uneasiness. •

 

 

“And at that thought, he was high.” 

 

Kim Jongin was lying down off stage waiting for EXO’s turn to come up. He enjoyed the solemnity of the moment. He adored the screams of fans and never seemed to get tired of the sound. It was addictive. Almost like a drug in a way and he was high. “Hey dude, come on! It’s our turn! You can’t be lying down like that right now.” Jongin then looked up to Yixing’s hand who then helped him to get up and Jongin followed him. They rejoined the rest of the group. Everyone was starting to get nervous. No matter how many times they had performed, the nine of them were still stressed. Anxious about offering the best show to the fans. A lot of things had changed since their debut but not this and Jongin was liking it. He then quickly put on his Kai persona and prepared himself to go all beast mode. He would give his 100% today and then some more. He needed to think about something else. 

 

A few hours later, Jongin limbs were so sore that he had a hard time walking back to his room. However he knew that tomorrow would be even worst. He crashed upon his bed neither caring about his wet clothes or the rest of his make-up that had dried out. He would figure it out later. He needed to sleep off the pain that he started to feel in his muscles and whole body. It would be worse tomorrow. He then heard someone knocking on his door but ignored it. As planned, the uninvited intruder entered anyway.  
“Come with us! Some are having dinner in the living room!”, shouted Kyungsoo and then attacked Jongin by throwing one of the pillows resting there at his face.  
“No, leave me alone. I need to sleep.”, groaned Jongin.  
“So, basically, I’m going to find you eating chicken at 5am tomorrow?” “Probably.”  
Jongin saw him leave without much reaction. The teasing that would have gotten him out of bed normally did not work. It had not worked for a while now. Jongin was not in the mood to share the warming atmosphere of the group. It is not that he did not love them or anything. However he was exhausted and did not want to be fake unless he was obliged to. He lied down on his back, much like a few hours ago. But the high wasn’t there anymore. Without all these people screaming and shouting his name, Jongin sometimes felt empty. Nowadays, it was a necessity to hear the fans chanting and screaming his name and even more so in times of internal crisis. However, they were not there anymore to congratulate them for their work and neither were they there to push away his bad thoughts. His thoughts which were leading him to a dorm. The SHINee dorm. It was actually not far from theirs. Actually, it wasn’t that close. Jongin could not be there each night. It was impossible because of his hectic idol life and crazy schedule. No matter how, he’d still manage to go see the person that could cheer him up with one glance. But today, the miles distancing him from this place and from that person weren’t enough to his liking. Nowadays, Jongin needed the distance at least as much as he needed the closeness. And it was driving him crazy. Jongin knew that he was probably there, in this dorm he thought about. He also knew that he could call and ask him if it was okay to come by or grab dinner somewhere around town. It was almost 3 am, but it was their thing. As idols, they all were living their lives upside down. But Jongin didn’t have the courage. Not since he had started to feel weird around his best friend. It had been a slow process and a painful one at that. He had started to notice things about Taemin. Little things that could make his heart skip a beat but that made his mind sick. The way his smile shined brighter than anyone else and the way he unwillingly loved to do anything to see it. The way his determination was showing when he was dancing. Once he had looked at him with respect and admiration but now something else lingered. Something more. He couldn’t quite put a finger on it though. One day, he had just started to feel uneasy around Taemin. And it wasn’t the way things went usually. Truth be told lately “usually” seemed to be missing from Jongin’s vocabulary. Everything about Taemin seemed to be shed under a brand new light. Something had just changed for Jongin and he had a hard time copping with it. Let alone understand it. He had never gathered up the guts to talk to Taemin about this. Convinced that if he acted like it did not exist, the uneasiness would soon vanish. 

 

▬▬▬▬

 

Taemin was so tired that all he was thinking about was to call it for a day. They all were really. Jinki was already half-sleeping on the floor, Key was staring at the clock and Minho was regaining his breath. Although the day was just starting since it was only 2am. To them the days often seemed endless and the nights restless. However, Taemin was so used to intense dance practices that he had learned to love them. He even enjoyed to go all the way during several hours. If dancing was oxygen, then he breathed dance. So he was very joyful and danced with pleasure to “Replay” which was playing in the background. Making wrong moves and inventing the choreography all over again. He tried to cheer up his hyungs and quickly it worked. They all smiled while looking at him being all goofy. That was one of the qualities of Taemin. Lightening up the mood. They all ended up by joining the extravaganza. They were tired but happy. In a way, they were all married to the music *wink* and = loved it no matter how much it meant in terms of hard work. Jonghyun was laughing while shouting “cute! cute!” in response. Although there was nothing cute about Taemin’s disheveled hair and the sweat showing on his body. This was the end of a very good and very intense day of rehearsing for their upcoming comeback.  
Taemin was excited to get a few hours of sleep. His mind wandered while the car led the whole group to their dorm. He lazily checked his phone and saw that Ravi had sent him a text about meeting each other soon. His mind then wandered to Jongin. He had not seen him in a while now. He definitely missed his friend. They used to share happy and not so happy times together. With a sigh, Taemin had to admit that it didn’t happen as much as before. 

 

▬▬▬

 

Jongin was sleeping when he heard his phone. At first, he thought he had already drained the precious hours of rest he had. He grumbled and looked at the clock. No, it was only 2.30 am. He looked at his phone and his heart stopped for a minute. Why was he calling him at that time of night? Was he in some kind of trouble? No he thought. It was ridiculous. “It’s your best friend that’s why he calls” he murmured to himself. Unfortunately before he could pick up, the name “Taemin” wasn’t appearing on the screen anymore. “Shit.” Jongin could not call back and pretend he hadn’t heard or that he was busy. Damn it, he could and Taemin would believe him because he was clueless, oblivious to Jongin’s struggles. “Aish. Everything’s fine, get over yourself!” He then took a deep breath. He needed to try to ease this weirdness that was getting in the way of their friendship. He needed to man up and act normal again.  
"Hey idiot. Since when do you not pick up the phone?” Jongin smiled instantly when he heard his voice.  
“Shut up. I was sleeping. You wouldn’t know of course. Since you’re a vampire calling at almost 3 am like it’s broad daylight outside.” Jongin was grinning now.  
"You’re living the same reality as me. Don’t pretend you’re this superior little bitch ‘cause we know you ain’t. We’re the same. And your comeback has weakened so much it hurts.“  
“ Not as much as your dance moves.” And then Jongin could hear Taemin getting wild on his horses talking about proving him wrong and he knew he had won. He could feel his cheeks hurting from smiling so much and thought that finally, he was feeling like his true self again. The weirdness was all in his imagination. 

○○○

Taemin suddenly stopped talking. Suddenly aware of the endless teasing game he had been put in. He waited. Waited for the other to say something, to say that he was a fool for always getting wild on his horses. He knew all about Jongin’s tricks and wits. And that was usually what followed. But Jongin offered him silence instead. 

"Are you okay lately? Not that I miss you or anything but I haven’t seen your face in so long I might have forgotten what you look like.“ Taemin used humor to disguise his nervousness. Jongin could only do that for so long. Everyone happened to know at some point when something was wrong with him. Taemin could even manage to detect it over the phone. Feeling when it was right and when it wasn’t. And something was not right. 

"I’m fine. I’m working too much and I want to rest. To see mom and the sisters. And the puppies. I miss all of them.” Taemin was startled. It was blunt, raw and honest. To get this kind of confession from Jongin was not unusual. However, Taemin could hear the weight of his words and he did not like it one bit. 

"Well. I have a good news to announce you.“ He was already hearing Jongin getting impatient.  
"SM has scheduled a photoshoot. For W Korea.”  
"And you need to announce me that? Why would I care?“  
"Because you’re supposed to be the fashion idol dumbass. Seeing your latest airport pics.” That was ironic. Neither of them really liked fashion. They were more going with the flow. Even though Jongin was better at it than him. Jongin was not buying it.  
"No but seriously tell me. You never tell me about photoshoots unless…. No. Are we doing it together??“ Taemin was smiling at his excitement which mirrored his own. Yeah, he was definitely excited about seeing him again. It had been too long. And he couldn’t wait to hug him and feel his gaze on him. Lately, their relationship had been more heavy than he was willing to admit it. He needed to see him again to ease off this feeling. He was probably imagining it. He needed to know that they were still the same, that their relationship was the same. Jongin was his rock and if that changed, Taemin didn’t know what he would become. 

 

○○○

“You’re the one doing the silent treatment now? Tell me about your day.” Taemin smiled ‘cause he loved how his friend cared. No matter how tired or grumpy, Jongin was a better friend than he was.  
” No. Sorry. I was just… I mean, I can’t wait to see you again. I have a new choreo’ to show you. It’s amazing. And so damn exhausting. It’s everything we love.“  
” Despite each other you mean?“ Taemin chuckled which was followed by Jongin’s sleepy laugh. Taemin loved to hear it.  
”Please don’t sleep on me.“ 

“Yeah well. Why did you call me in the first place.You knew this would happen. I just want to sleep. I’m so sore from the concert.” He could hear the other yawning. 

“Jongin… I don’t need the details please.”,

Taemin responded with a yawn.

” It it wasn’t for you, I would be sleeping.“ 

○○○  
Jongin then heard a muffled "fuck off” and some other insults that he wasn’t meant to hear. He laughed out loud. Definitely he was happy about seeing his friend very soon. He didn’t know when but it was enough to make him feel better. Soon enough, sleep came to find him.

 

Taemin had hung up the phone a little while after Jongin had drifted in the world of dreams. He did like to hear the sound of his breath and his snores.Taemin knew that his friend was the most at peace when sleeping. He knew more than anybody else under which pressure he was and how it sometimes weighted on his shoulders. Sometimes he believed that he knew Jongin more than Jongin knew himself. He then lied down on his bed contemplating the ceiling of his room. He couldn’t wait to see his friend again. And at that thought, he was high.


End file.
